A while back, I had read an article posted by some of my friends on Facebook: "20 Things You Need to Accept About Your 20s." I've seen posts like it before, and the message is generally the same: Stop freaking out, you're not supposed to have your life figured out 100% yet, and you're not the only one who feels this way. Positive messages for people who feel like their life is a mess, which seems to be a pretty common feeling these days.
And yet, every time I see an article like this, I get a weird vibe from it. This specific article was the tipping point for me - these articles aren't just sending the message, "You're not alone." They also are saying, "Life isn't going how you want but it's beyond your control so don't worry about it." They're saying, "You don't need to take responsibility for your shortcomings."
Reading this article, I thought to myself, "I'm sick of these bullshit excuses."
When things don't go how you want, it's so easy to just blame anyone or anything besides yourself. "I can't afford to eat well because the cost of living is so high." "I can't exercise because the gym is too expensive." "I can't find a job because the job market is too competitive." "It's ok that I'm up to my eyeballs in debt; everyone my age is."
(sorry those all seem to tie into money - money isn't the big issue here)
Taking responsibility for your life is scary - it means you need to admit you did something wrong, you made a mistake, or maybe you aren't doing the best you can. And yet, it's oddly relieving, because you can tell yourself, "Things may not be how I want them to be now, but they don't have to be that way because I can change them."
I get it, we're broke. Student loans need to be paid off, along with rent, utilities, etc. So start spending less. Eat at restaurants less. Go to bars less. Buy new clothes less. It doesn't need to kill your social life - have dinner parties at home. Drink at home. Find free/cheap entertainment around town. And sure, ramen is dirt cheap, but it also is loaded with fat and salt and has little nutritional value. Joe and I eat quite well with a grocery budget of $60 a week. Which, incidentally, is below the "Snap Challenge" food stamps budget. And we're not the only ones.
But time! Who has free time anymore? 8+ hours of work a day, plus more as needed because you can't afford to lose your job. How do you find time to cook meals at home and exercise while still having that social life? Some people swear by the "cook a lot over the weekend and eat leftovers all week" method. I'm not a huge fan of eating the same thing all week, so I'll plan ahead meals for the week, and save the quick and easy ones for days when I get home late. I'll admit, I get home later than I'd like on gym days. But I still have time to cook dinner, watch tv, and take care of anything at home I want to get done, and I'm in bed before midnight. On run days, I get home earlier and sometimes find myself with too much time and not enough to do!
Of course, I'm lucky in that I still get a free gym membership. Don't have access to a gym? Try running/walking/biking/etc. There's plenty of bodyweight exercises you can do to build strength without any equipment, and most can be adapted to be easier or harder depending on your skill level. Do stretches to build your flexibility. Don't have time to exercise? Yet you can binge watch entire series on Netflix? Sounds like you have time to me.
I'm not trying to say I have my entire life figured out. I'm not trying to tell you to cut all fun things out of your life. I'm telling you to be conscious of the decisions you make everyday. I'm broke, but I still like going out to the bars. It's cheaper to drink at home with friends, so I'll usually do that instead, but I will still go out every now and then. Just not every week. Sometimes I want to eat a dozen donuts in a day. So I will, but again, not every week. And if my weight is higher than I'd like that week, well, means I need to do even better next week.
No, things won't always work out how you planned. No, you can't change everything. But it really is amazing how much you can control if you simply care enough to put in the effort.
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